The Life-changing Magic of Asking for Help

October 3, 2019 | KonMari Tidying Lesson

No doubt about it, tidying was trending at the top of this year.

The reality is, millions of people have read books, watched TV shows, and listened to introductory lectures about decluttering. In other words, they’ve absorbed information about the technique of home organization, couched in made-for-TV moments and inspiring stories. Unfortunately, millions of people continue to hold on to a lot of guilt, shame, and overwhelm because they weren’t able to take action and finish the job once and for all while applying KonMari on their own and feel defeated.

Are you the type of person who would rather give up than ask for help? If so, I’ve totally been where you are.

One of the most powerful superpowers I gained from my own KonMari journey is confidence in knowing exactly when it’s time to ask for help. I’m no longer uncomfortable with or paralyzed by the thought. I let go of fears of being vulnerable, or looking needy or weak and send those thoughts away with a “thank you.” I actively surrender to those who know way more than me when it comes to skills and goals that seem out of reach.

Since my KonMari tidying journey concluded three years ago, I’ve hired business coaches, worked with a nutritionist, entered money mindset programs and more (see our Power Partners), thriving on expert guidance and scheduled accountability.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

It’s important to recognize asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s actually a very powerful indicator that you understand the value of your time.

So how do you know exactly when it’s time to call in reinforcements?

Here are three questions that may surface as you declutter that indicate it’s time to invest in tidying tools and services:

“Am I doing this right?”

Organization books and stories are great, but they have their limitations. They detail a standard practice, but often fall short of addressing the countless nuances associated with your unique clutter challenge. This is where the guidance, validation, and custom tools prepared by an expert practitioner are extremely valuable. For example, as a KonMari Consultant I have a responsibility to actively guide a client through the tidying process by customizing the experience without compromising the overall results. I know when to change a category order, modify a “rule,” or course correct while still getting you the results you deserve.

“Where should I put this?”

An unspoken, but firm rule of the KonMari Method is “stuff before storage.” Remember, this isn’t a shopping expedition or binning exercise. It’s an act of self-awareness, self-discovery, and self-care initiated by confronting consumerism first and storage last. As a home stylist with a background in interior design, in addition to KonMari, I value surrounding myself with beautifully ordered environments. I’m also very aware that composing storage, furniture, or accessories while considering design elements (color, scale, style, etc.) is something that sparks joy for me, but can send others into a downward spiral. Again, an organization book isn’t going to help you play “storage Tetris” across your entire home. When I tidy with clients I insist they only focus on the decision making while I handle the heavy lifting, time management, and placement of all the things until everything “clicks.”

“Am I letting go of enough?”

Every time I speak about the KonMari Method I make sure to address the myth that this is an exercise in letting go or minimizing. Ultimately, the beauty of the method is that it gives you permission to keep whatever you want to. The challenging thing about KonMari is it gives you permission to keep whatever you want to! Having no standard “criteria,” “rules,” or “numbers” can be tough to manage alone. My mission is to help people understand “does it spark joy?” only works when you acknowledge and respect the boundaries your home is presenting you. Yes, there is such thing as too much joy! That’s why my job is to create harmony between you, your home, and your possessions.

If you find yourself asking these three questions over…and over…and over again as you tidy up, you’ve officially reached a declutter plateau and it’s time to reach out for help.

Remember, your most valuable asset is your time. It’s both limited and finite. Leaning on an expert for help is a way to protect it rather than waste it cyclically purging, spinning your wheels, or diminishing your returns.

If you are one of the millions of people who’ve reached a decluttering plateau or stutter stepped through the process, know that you’re not alone and I’m here for you. You don’t have to suffer in silence for years to come because I offer a wide variety of tidying tools for every budget level and project scope.

Let’s make sure you don’t delay the conversation another year, filling the time with deferred decision making, unfinished business, and someday projects. 

I’m ready to help you redefine what “enough” truly means. Let’s talk tidy!

Kristyn Ivey

Kristyn Ivey is Chicago’s first platinum KonMari Consultant and Home Stylist, founder of For the Love of Tidy, co-host of Spark Joy podcast and author of The Tidy Home Joy Journal (#1 Amazon Best Seller).
Kristyn Ivey

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